Scandalous FIG Scones

30 Aug

Here’s the scene: last night I had 1.5 lbs of FIGS left that were threatening to turn from perfectly over-ripened and sweet to a rotting breeding ground for fruit flies at ANY second. While I pondered what to do, BFKef puttered around his closet, deciding which boat shoes to bring on his Labor Day weekend to the Hamptons (irony so fully noted here: it is one of the great joys of our relationship that I stress over how not to waste my local, fairly-sourced Fair Trade FIGS and he just *can’t* choose between this year’s Sperrys and last year’s).  Anyway,  since the invitation to Diddy’s White Party never arrived, I figured I would add the last of my foraged FIGS to some scones so that he and his friends could enjoy a dignified, WASPy breakfast on their dignified, WASPy get away (irony also fully noted here, as BFKef & co are not always dignified and  are described as WASPy only in relationship to Honey BooBoo).

I used this awesome FIG Scone recipe and will only make two addendums (addenda? addendia?)- I added 1 tsp of vanilla, and STRONGLY suggest patting the dough into a circle and refrigerating for about 20 minutes before cutting into triangles and baking. I knew better than to forgo this step but tried to get away with it, as the linked recipe does not call for a chilling phase.  I’m sorry to say that my laziness brought dishonor and shame on my family, and I had to endure the indignity of sending my boyfriend to the Hamptons with… less-than-perfect-triangular scones. Can you imagine? I had to avert my eyes as I clutched my pearls in HORROR at this scone scandal. I truly hope the Quogue Police Department does not investigate this matter– I would hate for Billy Joel to see my mug shot in the East Hampton Star!

Imperfectly formed, yes, but I think they were tasty none the less. I just love that scones are fluffy and dry and juuuuust a little sweet. I tried a GF/SF version with Jules Gluten Free, and they tasted good but texture was wrong– so no GF version for today’s recipe.


I was too distraught by being implicated in the Great FIG Scandal of 2013 to even dream of taking a good picture.

FIG Scones


  • 2 c flour
  • 1/3 c  + 1 tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 8 TBS unsalted butter, very cold
  • 1-1.5 c d figs, stemmed and chopped
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 c of fatty dairy (sour cream, half and half, heavy whipping cream, evaporated milk–whatever)
  • 1 egg


1. Preheat oven to 400F. Put rack in lower half of oven. Combine flour, 1/3 cup sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium mixing bowl. Add the butter, either in very small chopped pieces or by grating it. Use your fingers to combine dry mix and butter, until it resembles course meal with pea-sized lumps. Add figs, mix (I used my hands to mash up the figs a bit and it was fun).

2. In a small bowl, whisk together the vanilla, dairy, and egg until smooth. Using a fork, stir in to the dry ingredients. When the dork won’t help anymore, use your hands to make a dough ball.

3. Lightly flour wax paper or a cutting board and turn out dough onto it. Pat the dough ball into a circle about 8 inches in diameter and about 3/4-inch thick. Cover and chill in fridge for about 20 minutes.

4. The dough should be a bit firmer now. Cut circle into desired-size triangles and arrange on a parchment-lined baking sheet a few inches apart from one another. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until golden.

3 Responses to “Scandalous FIG Scones”


  1. Brown Sugar Chocolate Chip Scones | Cooking Up Kefi - September 10, 2013

    […] we’re on the subject of scones, let me give you the inside scoop on how to get anything you want from anyone you want. Spoiler […]

  2. How I Met Your FIG Tart | Cooking Up Kefi - September 11, 2013

    […] you’ve been living under a rock, you know that this season is all about FIGS. FIG scones. FIG jam. FIG Fashion Week at Lincoln Center. (Breaking news: FIGS are the new […]

  3. Chocolate Fig Ricotta Pie | Cooking Up Kefi - September 28, 2016

    […] eaters. Alternatively, try this Raspberry FIG Challah, crowd-pleasing FIG appetizer, FIG tart, FIG scones, or FIG jam. I love ’em […]

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